


The Paladin in Love

by Veelitann



Series: The Heart of Paladins [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura is rejected, Broken Heart, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Sad love, but she's a cutie, cuteness, impossible love, love is so hard, shlance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veelitann/pseuds/Veelitann
Summary: When Allura confessed to him, Lance didn't expect their conversation to take that way and the princess to know so much about him and his own feelings toward someone else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god. It took me a full day to re-watch season 1 and then season 2 last week. I'm such a Voltron trash right now, I had to write something to get rid off all those feelings and i'm still not done oh dears! I love them so much T_T" 
> 
> This is dedicated to my dear friend Akira who got me into her Shlance pairing, love you girl <3

"I'm sorry." 

Lance hadn't even took the time to think properly before speaking the two words. The woman in front of him didn't blink at it, only nodded quietly. She was always like that in those situations, when something no so important, something that didn't really depend on her, was happening. But this time, she should have cared a little more, and it was making Lance hesitating wether he should feel uncomfortable or grateful. 

Confessions weren't his things and the young man, standing in the middle of Allura's room, slowly shifted from a foot to another, quickly watching on his left, on his right. She nodded again, smiling. 

Contrary with his everyday behaviour, Lance wasn't one to confess for real. He liked playing, flirting, of course, but was never one to go further. 

"I understand," she said. 

Lance gulped a little. It was his turn to nod, imitating her. He hadn't actually been expecting something like that, especially coming from the Altean princess. Playing dumb, acting like he was interested in every form of females had become his habit -a huge one, he knew it and would admit it with no problem. 

So, for every reason in the world, Lance would have never imagined bein here, in her room, with Allura confessing sweet feelings toward him. 

That was unexpected. Probably the worst thing happening for all of them, and he swallowed the big lump forming deep in his throat. 

"Allura," he started. "I--"

She waved a little at him, smiling and laughing softly -and somehow, it killed him that he had to refuse her feelings, that he was just so unable to answer properly to the woman. 

"Don't worry," she said. "Everything is ok." 

Lance sighed. The silence around themwas only disturbed by the mouses running in the huge room. It was still as comfy as usual, even if he hadn't come in the room so often, as they tended not to enter so easily to a woman's quarter. Even if they were young, they were gentlemen. 

He cleared his throat when nothing seemed to come after, but as soon as he stopped softly hammering the floor with the tip of his toes, Allura sighed a little and it just made him so much more uncomfotable with his one position here, that he almost started. 

"Lance," she began. "I like you. A lot, that's a fact. Even too much," she added with a gentle laughter at his eyebrow raising up. "Not giving methe same feelings back is something you shouldn't be worrying about, okay?" 

He nodded again and she stood up. She was a little taller than him and it was always weird to be looked down by the woman when they were _so closed_. 

"It also means that I care a lot about you," she continued. Her hands suddenly reached Lance's shoulders and he tensed a little more at the unusual contact. Actually, there weren't a lot of physical contacts in their small group of people. Sometimes, there was an accolade, a hand on a shoulder, a kick in the ass -this one for Keith when he was really being an asshole of a Galra. Shoulder brushing shoulder when walking in a corridor. Smiles. Dumb smiles, even. 

Gentle fingers tousling his short hair after a nice shot. 

 

Lance closed his eyes for a second. He knew that his face wasnt showing the best of him at that very moment and she squeezed a little his shoulders in return. 

"I also care as a friend, Lance," she softly said. 

"Yeah, I--I know, princess." 

Most of the time, he hated when his own voice had to betray him like that, with that shaky tone. 

"We're all so close, now," she smiled. "Sorry for telling such things, that's kind of embarrassing for you. Also for me as well, really. But, hum, I felt like, well...I needed to confess something like that at least once in my life." 

Lance caught himself smiling a bit stupidly. Being the first man Allura was confessing to was a huge compliment, really, considering how beautiful and clever she was. But, really...  
His shoulders fell down a little under the pressure of her fingers. 

"Sorry," he repeated despite himself and she scowled a little.

"Sorry for what? Being honest with both yourself and I?" 

It was a soft giggle that escaped her lips and Lance sighed. He probably was too anxious or this situation -no need to say that it was actually the first time in his short life that he had to deal with a girl, a woman even, confessing to him. 

"I don't know?" he tried. 

At his childish lost expression, Allura laughed again. "Keith would give anything just to see you with that face right now, you know it?" 

He automatically tensed. "Don't you ever dare tell him about it!" 

She gently patted his shoulders. She was strong, and it was weird to feel her strength in a simple contact like this one. He was looking even more lost and he knew it was all over his face. 

"Lance," she said _again_. "You know you can talk to me. Okay?"

He blinked, looking up at her. 

"Uh--Yeah?"

"You know what I mean, right?" 

Lance only shrugged, unsure. Or rather, he wanted not to know. It was scary to think that the woman actually _knew_ without him telling her by himself. 

"Nooooot sure?"

"Oh dear, Lance, I've confessed to you, that also means I've watched you pretty closely. Get it?"

"Noooooot sure?" This time, he growled a little, suddenly quite defensive. It didn't stop her nonetheless, no matter how deep he was frowning at that moment. 

"It means that I know some little things for sure. Lance, I've seen all of that."

At her words, Lance remained silent for a moment, and it was so unlike him that it had to confirm what she was saying. He knew it, of course, but there was actually nothing more to say. He just avoided her gaze this time, focusing on the floor, on his shoes, on her shoes, on the mice now waiting patiently between the two of them, almost on their feet. 

"Does he know?" 

Her voice had lowered so much that he almost had to concentrate to understand her words. He looked from the corner of his eyes, in search for something else than their feet to focus on. 

"N-no." 

"Lance..."

"W-what?" 

"How long?" 

Lance suddenly held his breath and gave a long look at the door of the room. Allura left his shoulders and sat back down on her bed, patting the soft mattress with a hand. 

"It's well closed," she reassured him, knowing that he might be affraid anybody else could listen to the conversation. "Come here?" 

"Listen, Allura, I--I'm not sure, er..."

But she shook her head, giving him a nice and gentle look. How could he not answer her? He knew that she was one of the most trustable people in the galaxy -and it wasn't even a way of talking. The galaxy. All of that. 

Quiet as hell, Lance obeyed to Allura's purpose. Yeah. He _obeyed_ and it was quite telling the woman how the boy was actually feeling. Propably lonely, lost in his feelings, lost in what he should do, lost in what he wanted to be, wanted to do. They all were so young, unexperienced about so many parts of life and she knew that a lot of things like this one would appear. Just, it was a little particular here. 

"No one can hear us here," she added as he was still eying the door with worrying. "Lance, tell me..."

He groaned a little. "You, tell me...How did you know?" 

She looked a little surprised at the sudden question. "Hum? Well, first of all, he's the only one you don't act dumb with...Already a huge thing coming from you, isn't it?"

Lance made a face at it, then pouted a little, trying to have a annoyed expression. "Reeaaally," he sighed. "That's not enough to mean that I--"

"You always look after him when you know he's not far." 

"Reeeaaaally?" he repeated, and this time there was a forced tone in it. Allura knew she was pointing out the right things. 

"You always check where he's sitting."

He scowled a little. "Uh, so?"

"So you can sit at the right place and don't make _it_ obvious." 

This time Lance didn't say anything. Instead, he crossed his arms, staring at her, waiting for a little more. But she saw the insecurity in his eyes, in his features, his whole body language screaming for him. She intensified her gaze when their eyes met again. 

"You make such a face when he's with Keith. So resigned. You look away from them, right?"

"That's shit. My face is pretty shitty by the way, remember?" 

His voice was a little shaky again, and he was stubbornly looking on the side, avoiding her gaze. She laughed a little. 

"As you wish. But..." 

She leaned a little closer to him and the tip of her forefinger tip poked the middle of Lance's chest, gently. 

"I know how you look at him. I remember the first time I saw you giving him the sweetest gaze I've ever seen."

She sat back, sighing a little. "The saddest too, I have to admit. I guess that's what I've liked so much. A hint of despair. Is that because you know it's useless to try anything but can't help looking after him?" 

"Allura, I--" 

He didn't look lost, she finally noticed. He was lost. Simply. Maybe listening to what she had seen was the worst thing for Lance. But she'd seen all of that. She'd heard, too. Those sighs. Those eyes, aching for a gaze accross the room, that expression, awfully resigned when the red paladin was the only one to get some attention. 

"I don't know what to do," he suddenly murmured. 

His crackling voice scared her a little and she wondered if it was a good idea to put him on edge like that and didn't really know what she would do if he was going to cry or something. To be honest, Lance had always been pretty good at hiding everything. Just, something had always caught her attention with the young man, and days after days she'd looked after him, trying to understand what was going on with him. All those little things about him were stupid and soft and sweet at the same time. And sad. She wasn't sur, it probably the last part that had attracted her, like she wasn't alone anymore. The way he hid everything from the others in order to protect all of them was something terrible she'd managed to understand and had always observed from her place. 

"Since when?" she asked. 

It was the only part she had never got. It was like Lance had always been like that. 

He shrugged a little again, and rubbed his face with a shaky hand, breathing out deeply. 

"I--I'm not sure...Ya know, he...He's always been a hero to me...B-before, uh?" 

_Before he got to meet the man for real_ was what he probably meant. She'd heard about that story once, when they rescued him from the militaries after he managed to go back to earth. 

"I--" 

Lance crossed his legs, and dug his fingers between his ankles. 

"I decided that I--I shouldn't say anything," he continued. "Just...Just liking him is enough, right?" 

She gave him a sad look and he swallowed with some difficulties at it. 

"I--I mean..."

Oh dears. Allura stared at the man for a moment. He was almost shifting on place, eyes half shut and focusing on his own fingers lost between his blue jeanned legs. 

"There was that...That feeling," he whipered. "Y-you know...That's, uh...Shit, how to say? S-sweet? It's so warm, and everytime I look at him of listen to him, I just feel it here..." 

While talking, he raised up a hand to his chest, pressing his fingers against his tee-shirt. "And my heart...Beat so much...S--so fast too..." 

His cheekbones had turned pink. So pink, that Allura wondered fora few good seconds if Lance was sick or anything, but his words made her leave this idea definitly. 

She smiled softly, and put a hand on Lance's knee at her reach. "Being in love is the best thing that could happen to a paladin, Lance." 

He had a nervous laughter. She didn't like when he was like that, tensed, unsure of what to do, what to say, even forgetting to act like the dumbass guy he used to show to people day after day. But then he nodded. 

"I know."

Lance sighed. 

"I know how it makes us want to protect that person even more, care even more, focus even more..." 

There was an embarrassed silence after that and Allura didn't break it, quietly staring at him. But Lance didn't say more about it. His brain was going like crazy -talking about all of that hadn't been what he thought that would happen when Allura had called for him on that day. 

"But you know it, right?" he breathed. 

She smiled softly. She knew, of course. She liked him. But she, at least, had the courage to tell him. 

He wasn't that brave. He couldn't. Allura, in every situation, had always shown a incredibly strong mind, and she amazed them all by her way of going through things. 

"Won't you tell him?" 

"No." 

She started a little at the lack of hesitation in his answer. 

"Lance..."

He frowned at her attempt. "There's no way. It would lead us to...Nowhere. You know how it could kill our team and I will never let it happen. We can't lose Voltron. Right?"  
She didn't answer immediatly. Those words, in Lance's mouth, were even heavier than usual. "What are you going to do, then?" she asked. 

He sighed deeply. 

"Nothing more, nothing less." 

"Maybe forget about him?" she tried. "You just can't live like this forever, do you?"

For one second, she saw that face of his, one she'd seen already once. Eyebrows tightened in a thin frowning line, his gaze was full of apologies she didn't want to see. 

"I don't want to forget," he muttered. There was that small smile on his lips, and he circled his knees with his arms, bringing them up to his chest. "He already disapeared for months before Voltron. I don't want to lose him. But...I'm not that stupid, right? I know that I can't get more..." 

"That's so...Unlike you," she sighed. 

This time, Lance laughed a little and his smile got bigger. "Yeah, I know that. I wonder if love is really something good for a paladin, after all." 

"Don't say such a thing. That's the most amazing feeling!" 

Lance stared at her and his expression softened gradually. "You're right. That's the most amazing." 

She sighed. "Do you want to hug him, sometimes?"

"Yeah. So bad." Lance moved a hand, waving at her. "It almost makes my fingers tickle soooo much."

"Your _fingers_?" she snarled at him with a half disgusted face. 

"You--you don't want to know!" he replied right away, suddenly red to the ears. 

"Ooooh Lance, how gross." 

But she was still laughing softly, with that gentle cristal laughters of her and he felt his body relax a bit. He breathed out with a sound of relief and a weak smile enlightened his face. At that, Allura knew that probably, yeah, the young man would be ok. 

"Allura, I'm...I'm sorry for everything," he sighed. "I know that I should answer you better." 

She raised her thin eyebrows at his sudden behaviour, his lowered head. "Lance?" 

"But really. I've already been thinking like...A lot. About that, him, my...My feelings..."

She didn't say anything. At her calm gaze on him, he cleared his throat a little. 

"I'll keep thing like how they are now. That's kind of great, you know? Somehow, after all we've seen...I feel like I can trust myself as long as I know that I'm able to love someone. If it's for him, I can do anything. It might not make me the best paladin ever, but, still...If I can be good enough...Did you know that he congrated me last time?"

His voice as crackling again a little, and Allura noticed his hands clenched into fists. She finally got it, finally understood something about the blue paladin that made her heart ache a little. He was on the edge of something, and she could see that he was trying so hard to believe everything he was saying himself. So, she suddenly leaned more on him, her arms circling his shoulders before he could react or say anything, bringing him in a tight and soft hug. 

"T-there," she muttered, unsure of what she was doing. 

He didn't say anything at first. His breath tickled her collarbones through the fabric of her clothes, forehead pressed against the crook of her neck. She was rubbing the top of his back a little, in small and clumsy circles. She heard a soft sniff after a moment and notied the way he was trying to relax in her arms, hands softly shaking. 

"Can I say something stupid?" he finally asked, voice muffled by her shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You hug like my mother." 

She stopped her hand for a second, time for her to process what it meant, and smiled softly. "Oh." 

"I miss her."

She knew that he was crying for a moment already, quietly, as he was sniffing more and more, fists still stubbornly pressing against his own clothes. Sometimes, she learned that Lance wasn't so different from Keith, but had to show his way of being differently. 

"That's not stupid." 

"Unh..." 

A deep breath, again. 

"I've something stupid again to say--"

"Mh?"

Through her clothes, she could feel the wet trail of tears slowly soaking the altean fabric. 

"I hope that Shiro could hug me sometime, even just like this." 

She swallowed thickly, tightening her embrace on the body. 

"He will, Lance," she whispered. "He will. That's not stupid at all." 

"Yeah?" he giggled a little, voice shaking even more at her words and it was litteraly breaking her heart. 

"Yeah. That's how is love. It can't be stupid."

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably turn it into a series of one shots in the end as i'm already planning another one shot to follow this one <3 (Because you know, of course I can't leave Lance like this!)  
> "Slice of life" is my favorite way of dealing with a subject, like in my Gundam Wing series made of one shots! (yeah I should go back on it I know) 
> 
> I really hope you liked it, Lance is my favorite Paladin, I love his personnality so muh and I feel like there is still so much to do with him! <3
> 
> So well, don't hesitate and comment if you liked, tell me what you thought about this work and if you want more next time! >w


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